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“A parent/child relationship is pretty intense," she says, "and as they get older, the natural tendency is to want to separate and gain some distance.” 2.Don’t assume your child always wants to chat or text.D., the author of and co-chair of the Council on Contemporary Families, observes that it’s common for boomers to be anxious about relationships with their grown children.Often our offspring suddenly appear distant or not eager for our company, he says.Then, when his girlfriend waltzed in an hour later with Bed Bath & Beyond shopping bags stuffed with drapes, Tracey almost burst into tears. “My ex-wife and I waited until after they were on their own before we divorced," he says."The whole process wasn’t particularly acrimonious. But after the divorce, my kids seemed really distant, as if they were blaming me.” (MORE: How to Tell Your Adult Children You're Divorcing) Psychologist Joshua Coleman, Ph.Response time almost always gets longer as kids get older, experts agree.Cissy Blank says that when her son, Jason, lived at home, he returned calls and messages quickly. So she tacked a copy of his schedule to the fridge and was careful never to call during class, trying to be considerate.
Noticing that he didn't have curtains on the windows, she volunteered to sew some — and was disappointed when he declined her offer. I thought he didn’t want me around.” Milo Greenberg, 60, had an even more disturbing situation with his grown children.It hurt," Cissy says, "but it was true.” “Not texting daily doesn’t mean your kids don’t like you,” Mc Coy says.“What’s happening to them is much more pressing and vivid than what’s going on with their parents.” 3.Parents may be making a big deal over what’s really a normal developmental stage.“Sometimes a kid is just sending the message, ‘I do like you, but I don’t want to be attached like glue,’" Coleman says.